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Small World Dept., Bureau #33411

Cat and Girl‘s creator mentions Eugene Mirman in her donations section on June 2. (That link will quickly go stale.) She misspells his name, though. It’s funny to think I might have seen her around town and not known it, and funny to think she thinks Eugene is cool enough to mention. Not that I don’t. I think she’s cool, too.

“Remove her clothes and give her a hub, say ‘Thank you!'”

Contrary to Japanese popular opinion,, cats don’t really like cross-dressing as chickens. I have to admit, though, the cats shown here do not seem to be too irritated by the costumes, and it’s all very cute. Maybe it’s because most of them are Scottish Folds. Or maybe they’ve been stuffed.

Hyperbolic Estate

I had another unbelievable New York conversation last night. It rivals the one Klahr and I had the other day, in which he decried the Archie Bunker stereotype of Queens, saying he mostly only sees Koreans out here now, and told me what I ought to be writing about in Coney Island is the gated community of white folks in the middle of a rather dejected piece of urban blight (Stereotype B, he said) which rests on the smoking grave of an amusement park (Stereotype A). All very well and good if you’re Tracy Kidder, I thought, but this is a puff piece for the borough president.

(The b.p. apparently hated the lede from my Coney Island article, which ran “Coney Island is not what it was, nor is it ever likely to be so again. Such is the nature of entertainment: the tastes and sophistication of audiences change.” The other article, a jerry-rigged piece of blow about Brooklyn studios which had neither style nor substance, he adored so much he changed all of two words in it. I will never understand some people. For example, myself. Where did I get this ability to write crap which is pitch-perfect for the ears of local bureaucrats? Did I really pick up that much during one summer at Sunset? Or was it all those thank-you letters my mom made me write?)

Sorry, major digression. So I was talking with my editor, and when we hit the first line of the studios piece, about the skyrocketing prices of Manhattan real estate, she went all Old Faithful on my ass about how Manhattan has always had wildly overpriced housing, even back when her grandmother was young.
“To live in Manhattan, you had to live like a god or you lived like a rat. There was no in-between,” she said.

She proceeded to give me a run-down of exactly what had happened to just about every neighborhood in the city, in such a tone that the entire time I wasn’t quite sure if I had made her mad. Carroll Gardens has always been nice Williamsburg has always been nice; Canarsie — African Americans now, had been all white-Jewish before, but all the Jews moved to Jersey (she has moved to Jersey); the Lower East Side was DISGUSTING, Park Slope was DISGUSTING. Quite a few neighborhoods were all-capitals DISGUSTING in her estimation. Park Slope was, she said, where all the “wealthy people from Manhattan” had infiltrated.

“In the seventies, you walked on Sixth Avenue (in Brooklyn) with your key out your sneakers on your glasses on and you MOVED,” she told me. The spiel ended with “It’s a different world. We grew up with black and white TV.”

With apologies to Itamar, New York City has got to be the most hotly-argued-about piece of ground anywhere. Or maybe I just think that because I’ve been living here too long. New York has a way of severely limiting your perspective, I think. You get a sense of how big it is, and you give up on having perspective at all. You pick one little half-acre of rhetorical ground to hoe, one three-block area to get incensed about, and you develop a flawed and nearsighted case to argue about it over and over. And it’s better to watch than a fireworks display, because you have absorbed the fine art of hyperbole if you’ve lived here long enough. No offense, Klahr. I just think you natives are funny. Like humorous funny. No, I do not want a pair of cement boots, put those away.

Speaking of living here too long, I had a frisson the other day which I never thought would come over me: I considered moving back to Pasadena and thought to myself “Good lord, how provincial, I never.” Venice Beach maybe, the Bay Area certainly, probably West Hollywood or Silverlake, but not Pasadena. And Barstow also sounds less doable than it did a few months ago. I am addicted to places which are about art now. Pasadena has art, and it has many other wonderful things, but it is not About Art. It is About Its Friends And Relations, I think, more than anything else.

Parts of New York are most definitely About Art. I am having some serious problems getting out the sand which collected in my shoes while I was in Coney Island. Some people out there are trying — how successfully? — to make it About Art. It’s a weird place to have escape fantasies about — it is only sixteen miles from here — but it’s the beach, and there’s some lovely weirdos out there. More on that eventually. That’s all for tonight.

Trixie Belden Yaoi

That somewhere out there (in Oklahoma?!) there is a person who runs both a Trixie Belden fansite and a yaoi site (that’s gay Anime pr0n, for those of you who, like me, were not paying enough attention; alas, the rest of the site is not as steamy as the front page) just about makes my day. That this person also has a child makes my week. I am less than excited that all the sites I can find bearing this my new favorite pr0n make all sorts of worried noise about having MALE/MALE SEX on them (folks, it’s anime — all the men are effeminate! nobody can tell anyway!), and I am of course less than thrilled to find yet another blog devoted to one’s daily purchases. Still, shine on, you crazy gaddam diamond.

Activism: Powered by Guiltium ™

I feel really, really, really, really bad that I didn’t write my elected officials about the relaxing of the FCC regulations. I kept putting it off, and then I got busy and then it was too late. And goddamn it, it’s ostensibly my issue…

So to make up for it, I’m going to link to a bill to change regulations on overtime pay so that employers have more flexibility to give workers comp time instead. Everybody go send a letter, it only takes a second.

SEE! The Dancing Sausage Live In Performance!

My dance studio is having an open house this Saturday starting at 4:00. I’ll be performing a short West African dance called Goombe with my class. Please stop by! It’s a good opportunity to check out the studio, as many of its incredibly diverse dances will be on display (belly dance, various Indian classical — and non-classical! — styles, and probably flamenco at the very least will be on display; I know we also have a hula class, a Thai dance class, and a Native American dance class using the space). The studio is Lotus Arts, at 109 West 27th Street, 8th Floor in Manhattan. And no, I am not linking you to their website; I don’t want you running away screaming just because their website is so goddamn ugly. The studio is much better than its site, though it is small. Saturday June 7 at 4:00! Be there! I’m going to run out to watch the Belmont Stakes afterwards and if you’re inclined to take in a truly peculiar set of events that day you can join me.

Slammin’

A former YWW kiddo of my acquaintance, Eli Rosenblatt, is featured on the 2002 Freedom to Speak collection put out by the National Poetry Slam. Go Eli!

You can’t deny it —

and I’m sure it’s been said, but



Donald Rumsfeld is



Sam the Eagle.

OK, so disposition-wise John Ashcroft is more like Sam, with his tendency to see everything around him as awash in moral turpitude. But Rummy looks the part.

Comics To Buy

Jacob has set up a mini-store where you can buy his (incredibly cheaply-priced! and funny) Skullboy series for $1 a copy, as well as the “hairy sack logo” Beetle shirt. Both of which are well worth it, but don’t let Jacob determine your size for the shirt. Plus he has a new Surly Boy storyline up, which I think I came up with the idea for. If you are my sister you should read it especially. So what am I, Jacob’s personal promoter, or something? Yeah. Not officially, but yeah.

Blood Hunger And Haiku

I am really proud of how this haiku turned out. (The next two and the previous one are also mine. You could do a search for “gus,” but it also turns up all the poems about cunn!l!ngus. Which is fine, I dig that too.)