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It Also Said, “The Other White Meat”

Wednesday, August 8, 2001

IÂ’m home, waiting for packages to be delivered. The blast of a truck horn sounds down in the street, so thinking thereÂ’s an off chance it might be the mail dude, I head downstairs. What there is is a funeral, a huge funeral, at the Jewish parlor across the way. Men everywhere in yarmulkes. People […]

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Failed Celebrity Encounters #7

Monday, August 6, 2001

Just as the poodle I’m walking squats to take a dump… along comes John Goodman, heading up Columbus with someone I didn’t recognize. I have things planned that I would say to Joel Hodgson, or Denise Crosby, or Ben Stein (I think I’d spit in his face), or Steve Martin (I’d ask him to dance), […]

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Forum: The Big Questions — What We Talk About When We Talk About Love

Wednesday, August 1, 2001

The workshop counselors from the 2001 sessions spent two nights together in a retreat in the Virginia “mountains” after everything had wound down. On our last night together, after the dishes had been cleared, our director spurred us into a discussion along the theme of Raymond Carver’s What We Talk About When We Talk About […]

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Like a Dead Elephant/Garbage Like Dead Elephants

Sunday, July 29, 2001

Leanne and I had an unconscionably heavy bag of garbage to lug out to the dumpster. We ended up carrying it on a stretcher made of a baby-blue towel. It’s like a dead elephant, Leanne said, wrestling it into the dumpster’s mouth. heh heh heh with no apologies whatsoever to Papa Hemingway Why can’t you […]

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A Month In Lesson Plans

Sunday, July 29, 2001

or, Arts And Crafts For The Spiritually Drained Post-Graduate or, Non-Alcoholic Drinking Games For The Graphomaniacally Inclined Another Web Tutorial These are my last days at the workshop. I have driven the last of my kids from web staff to the airport, some of the same kids I had “brought into this world” when I […]

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It’s Ice

Friday, July 20, 2001

Think about going backward. Think about going forward. Think about hard surfaces. Think about slick. This is the first time I’ve been ice skating since I learned to drive.

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Blink And You’ll Miss Us

Tuesday, July 17, 2001

Kube and I went out to the Lawn today and performed for the University’s RotundaCam. We were there right before sunset, standing right in front of the statue in the foreground forming letters with our bodies. Watch for the couple who comes to have a picnic — they showed up shortly before we did. At […]

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We Love Anthropomorphic Little Blobs

Sunday, July 15, 2001

There is a Flash version of everyone’s favorite classic, Puyo Puyo. Please don’t start playing if you’re working on a term paper.

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Just Call Me Mr. Butterfingers

Saturday, July 14, 2001

Just looked at Emo Phillips’s Website for the first time. Check out his list of times he’s been struck by a typewriter, and his recipe for cole slaw.

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I Am Looking For Something, And It’s Not Here (Baby Gonzo II)

Saturday, July 14, 2001

Scene: A high-ceilinged bookstore, downtown Charlottesville. White pillars. The air is cool. I’m on the scene keeping an eye out for the workshop’s nonfiction class, who are on their highly sensitive Gonzo Journalism assignment. I am looking for a book — Glass, Beans, Paper — by Leah Hager Cohen. (I have the name wrong; it’s […]

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