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Category Archives: Personal Best

Notes From The Bowels Of A Pharmaceuticals Advertising Company

I have heard my boss describe our division over the phone as �an educational company,� but it is an arm of an advertising firm. If these surveys are in my hands, in this office, it is evidence the conferences are marketing tools.


The life and death of a community newspaper editor.


The sensual pleasures of an evening in New York.


Dogs were very appealing at that age; theyÂ’d look right at you, and you could give them the crookedest smile back and it wasnÂ’t going to unbalance the universe. As for the boy who worked at the shelter… you couldn’t say we ever made conversation.

White Collar Crimes

The rule in my house was you do your homework first, and then play. So I learned to steal time from myself.

Squirrels Are Metaphors For People

The guy who is fixing the house came by to bang the storm windows outside off early this morning. As a result, squirrels have taken up residence in the sash gutter of my bedroom window.

Comedy and Liberty

They told us to get back to work… but there werenÂ’t any jobs available for a man under his desk in the fetal position… which I gladly would have taken… –Jon Stewart I’m sitting here listening to the Daily Show as I type. Jon Stewart gave an unhumorous, bewildered, tearful opening monologue for their first […]

Special Abilities

Gareth leaves the house maybe twice a week he has taken to role playing the sixteen-sided dice are all over the table I say this is called Depression, my friend, he says No it’s not I can show you the clinical definition of depression (weaponry: DSM IV).

It’s Ice

Think about going backward. Think about going forward. Think about hard surfaces. Think about slick. This is the first time I’ve been ice skating since I learned to drive.

Arse Poetica

Why I gave up writing poetry.