Donald Rumsfeld. Sam the Eagle.
Am I the only one to whom the song Attorney General John Ashcroft wrote and which he is apparently trying to force his staff to sing bear more than a passing resemblance to “Eyes of a Child,” the final credits song from the South Park movie? This coincidence might be eerie (John I-don’t-want-to-hear-nuthin-bout-not-birthin-no-babies Ashcroft watched […]
Friday, September 21, 2001
They told us to get back to work… but there werenÂ’t any jobs available for a man under his desk in the fetal position… which I gladly would have taken… –Jon Stewart I’m sitting here listening to the Daily Show as I type. Jon Stewart gave an unhumorous, bewildered, tearful opening monologue for their first […]
Leanne and I had an unconscionably heavy bag of garbage to lug out to the dumpster. We ended up carrying it on a stretcher made of a baby-blue towel. It’s like a dead elephant, Leanne said, wrestling it into the dumpster’s mouth. heh heh heh with no apologies whatsoever to Papa Hemingway Why can’t you […]
Scene: A high-ceilinged bookstore, downtown Charlottesville. White pillars. The air is cool. I’m on the scene keeping an eye out for the workshop’s nonfiction class, who are on their highly sensitive Gonzo Journalism assignment. I am looking for a book — Glass, Beans, Paper — by Leah Hager Cohen. (I have the name wrong; it’s […]
things are going much better here. The [kids] from first session have left, and in their place there are now 40 alumns and 48 older and wiser newbies. They don’t wait for us to hold their hands; they know what this place is all about, and they set to their mission without prompting, laying creative […]
I’m going to be real casual here; writing at a workshop is fsckin hard, and I haven’t been able to make coherent sense of anything since I got here. Nothing seems of universal importance when your job is to hang out with people who are writing all day. Much of my time at the moment […]
Monday, February 26, 2001
I am now the proud owner of an Aquaframe. An Aquaframe is one of an increasingly diverse line of products which feature little plastic fish which, as if by magic, swim around in a plastic tank. Apparently it has something to do with magnets, although I have seen huge freestanding tube ones which are bubble-powered. […]
I am really not sure how VoteAuction.com got past my notice… here, to make up, I will proclaim my hipness by noticing that rTMark affiliates the Yes Men slipped a fake WTO rep into a conference in Austria somehow. Breathtaking. I still don’t understand why I can’t find someone to pay me to pull that […]
so here’s some more classics from the CACFP vaults. scrambles egg cornflakes kellow pulm cold fish home nad soup gronala bars grean salan Feach toast biskets spag spam twigs yely chicken soap carras sticks totot mix green sala orka fruit desert bananana burget bun spaguettis lectuce tomatoe (Dan Quayle’s goin’ DOWN…)