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Category Archives: Found Documents

Letters to Young People: Unsayable

I wrote this to a student at the end of last semester, one who was struggling with what looked pretty clearly to me like depression and/or self-deprecating thoughts that go along with it. I never sent this. This is the kind of thing that would lose you your job. But I think it is so, […]

Letters to young people: Ents

Student who failed class asks for recommendations of what to do next time. Response: [Kid], You got a 67.7% on your midterm. You got a 58% on your … paper. You got a 72.5% on your … project. With generous adjustment (which everyone in the class got), you got only 27% on your final. You […]

Found Documents: Diary Entry From El Capitan/Refugio, May (June?) 1995

Begins with a reference to a Tanqueray ad campaign of that time in which a photo-collage old white male figure said mildly scandalous old-white-male things about a lifestyle vaguely related to alcohol to an unseen secretary. We would have seen a lot of this ad campaign — it was all over West Hollywood, where we […]

Cinema Chocobo

I just finished analyzing screenshots from Final Fantasy VIII for a class I’m taking.

Bus Blog

Bacon and I found this and we were pretty sure it was a blog post.

but hoarser; it comes / No Credit Checks / No Interest Chargeas the effects of delirium.

Normally I don’t read spam, but this one with a headline suggesting it could “make the government return your tax money” caught my eye and made me wonder what flavor of rhetoric I would find within.

(cue minor key music)

It looks like a centipede, it looks like a daddy long-legs, it hangs out over my bed and doesn’t have a very good grip on the wall — what’s not to love?!!!!

Where It’s At: I’ve Got Two Turntables And A Malfunctioning Copy Of HyperEngine

The records from Laurie’s basement which I’ve been turning into MP3s.

Found Documents: Trivial Pursuit Award

Found in a Trivial Pursuit box at a place where I’m housesitting. Small notepad sheets tied in one corner with dark blue yarn. To whom it may concern: Mazel tov! Congrats on a mind boggling victory. Take pride in your mastery of this insignificantly paltry frivolously frothy inconsequentially immaterial trifling molehill, this flimsy shallow mediocre […]

This Is A Website About Ken Burns

So today I come home to a big juicy envelope from Hampshire College. Oh goody, I think. My transcript? Maybe a copy of the alumni magazine, which for some reason I don’t seem to get? No such luck. It’s the president’s report. It’s got an ugly gold cover, and it’s called “Assessment and Innovation: The […]