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Found Documents: Trivial Pursuit Award

Found in a Trivial Pursuit box at a place where I’m housesitting. Small notepad sheets tied in one corner with dark blue yarn.

To whom it may concern:

Mazel tov!

Congrats on a mind boggling victory. Take pride in your mastery of this insignificantly paltry frivolously frothy inconsequentially immaterial trifling molehill, this flimsy shallow mediocre petty puerile piddling inanely ludicrous farcically picayune somewhat unessential scruffy cheap wretched futile fiddle deefee of a game.

You are the unparalelled king of all that is worthless, unproductive, fallow unprofitable superfluous dispensable fruitless and of no earthly use to man or dog. You reign supreme in the realm of the pinprick, the fleabite, the gimcrack, the gewgaw, the mist, you rule the empire of bagatelles of trinkets and baubles and bubbles and cobwebs and fairydust and froth, of rubbish and trumpery and stuff and smoke and small potatoes. Your brain is a finely woven net into which all matters of importance are poured and only the most worthless items of bunk are retained. The medulla oblongata that is yours (ie – the winning medulla oblongata) is surely crammed to bursting with every splinter, morsel, crumb, snicksnack, thimbleful, scraplet, granule, iota, fragment, particle, ion, speck dot jot fraction grain minim sip dab droplet dripule dash and tidbit of orphan information from here to wawa.

You have clutched this lonesome lore to your bosom and given it a home in your snug skull. As a reward for this selfless act of bravura and god knows we need more people like you we crown you Trivial Turkey of the Week.

–Gzy Gzint

wait — suddenly it occurs to me that this was not written for the owners of the game. I don’t remember seeing it when we got the game out. that’s fscking eerie. it might not be an incongruity after all. maybe it’s meant for me.

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