Normally I don’t read spam, but this one with a headline suggesting it could “make the government return your tax money” caught my eye and made me wonder what flavor of rhetoric I would find within, what appeal to the secret anti-government sentiments of my fellow Americans it would employ. Instead I found it contained the kind of actual nonsense which spammers seem to be employing to foil filters lately. The semipoetic garble is sort of haunting, as if some other, deeper voice is trying to break through the noisy static in my inbox:
T o : r r @ p r o t e s t . n e t
S u b j e c t : M a k e t h
Q u a l i f y i n g f o r a f r e e c a s h g r a n t i s e a s y !
a s f i f t e e n t o t w e n t y . M a y I b e e x c u s e d f o r s a y i n g t h a t I w a s
$ 1 0 , 0 0 0 t o o v e r $ 5 0 0 , 0 0 0 A v a i l a b l e N O W !
N e v e r R e p a y A g a i n t h e r e i s a s o u n d a s o f a h u m a n v o i c e , b u t h o a r s e r ; i t
c o m e s
N o C r e d i t C h e c k s
N o I n t e r e s t C h a r g e a s t h e e f f e c t s o f d e l i r i u m .
S e e i f y o u m e e t t h e r e q u i r e m e n t s h e r e
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The unavoidability of spam has made approaching it as avant-garde literature the only way to cope.
Is unavoidability a word? Are you up for some scrabble anytime this week?
Here’s another one:
“The retribution you have received is to be loved by me.The retribution you have received is to be loved by me.Most of my paraphernalia is in my room.The retribution you have received is to be loved by me.”
I have got to start reading my spam.
I’m beginning to see a trend. Call it spam limericks:
The money was subsidized to nothing when I made up a stupid sentence.The money was subsidized to nothing when I made up a stupid sentence.When I take over the world it is going to be a tyrannyThe money was subsidized to nothing when I made up a stupid sentence.
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