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What We Won’t Be This Halloween

I stumbled across the most amazing costume site. (yes “stumbled” closeted furry tendencies hushed up shhh SHUT IT YOU) It would appear that somewhere in China, a factory owner discovered the lucrative nature of cosplay and its related arts in the furry fandom, and began to belabor his poorly-paid workers into cranking out a ludicrous array of animal costumes (along with some Japanese fetish wear that is better left unlinked-to). I give you: COSPLAYGATE. (Someone has apparently planned their branding for the future day on which Obama is discovered to be dressing as a loli on his days off?)

The Kinky Bird
Kinky Sea Monster (The site is filled with outfits bearing strategically-placed zippers, but these do not appear to be that kind of “kinky”)
Obediently Tiger
Round Mouth Bear (also violates truth-in-advertising laws somewhere)
Etiquette Bear
Skirt Blame Bear (Good, because we can’t have the bear blaming the skirt, that just perpetuates victimization?)
Pink Ear Polar Bear
Seafarers Bear (Would somebody please get these people a guide to animal species?!)
Black-billed SpongeBob (that’s not the kind of species specificity I was asking for)
Angel Frog (I’m pretty sure those are the Fairly Oddparents, or something?)
Omelet Dinosaur (is apparently a literal Chinese translation of “dragon”)
Red Fur Man (riiiiiiight. just waltz right around those trademark issues)
Long Mouth Monster (mmmmmhmm.)
Pink Banny (Green Banny also available)
Red or Purple Aerial Baby
Yellow Blue Eye Tiger With Pink Pentacle On The Belly (really? you could spare that much detail…)
Timber Wolf (… but still couldn’t describe what the shit this is?)
Hercules (right. keep it simple. And utterly inexplicable)
and still my favorite:
Kinky Mole

3 Comments

  1. Rob wrote:

    Jackie Chan cries himself to sleep every night because he’ll never be as agile as this trademark-dodging copyeditor.

    It’s too bad I could never get a custom Long Mouth Monster costume here in time for Masquerade Candy Tradition Day.

    Saturday, October 23, 2010 at 3:06 am | Permalink
  2. Itamar wrote:

    Hercules (and the Mr. Wrestling costume too, probably) is based on a character from the children book series Mr. Men (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr._Men), apparently also made into a couple of TV shows. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZV8e199L6M is the episode about Mr. Strong from the old TV series.

    Saturday, October 23, 2010 at 7:10 am | Permalink
  3. admin wrote:

    Itamar, I did guess that was a “Little Mr./Little Miss” costume, but the reason for “Hercules” escaped me. Mr. Strong makes sense. I think there’s also a Little Miss Perfect or some such costume in there. Thanks for the tip!

    Saturday, October 23, 2010 at 10:57 am | Permalink

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