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Operation Moral Compass

“In an effort to stop a dramatic recent slide in popularity within public opinion poles, President George W. Bush has adapted a strategy in which a five-year-old girl named Sara Jo Bailey is handcuffed to his left hand.” From Rock On A Spring. Brooke is doing a great job over there; I honestly thought this piece had come from the Onion, until I got to the end and realized it hadn’t followed their relatively tired formula.


  1. Otter wrote:


    1) If it’s “absolutely true”, bend over and grab your ankles to make it easier on the other guy as we’re fucked anyhow.

    2) It was “generated” last week in the shower. The only time the White House ever actually contacts me happens every April 15th.

    Tuesday, October 14, 2003 at 9:52 am | Permalink
  2. gus wrote:

    (pushes Otter aside and puts a hand over her mouth)

    That’s right! It’s ABSOLUTELY TRUE! You read it, so it’s true, No. 2 Pencil. If that *is* your real name.

    Did you hear the one about LBJ fucking JFK’s sucking head wound? All from the Department of 100% Verifiably True.

    Tuesday, October 14, 2003 at 2:41 pm | Permalink
  3. Otter wrote:

    So true Gus! I hear LBJ never felt quite clean again after he pulled out and shook off. He has one of the strangest cases of penile Mad Cow these days, tho…

    Anyhow, the braintrust above inspired me to generate another one. I refuse to span in someone else’s page, but the link is clickable through my name. Let’s see if this one is confused in ANY way with real life.

    Tuesday, October 14, 2003 at 4:35 pm | Permalink
  4. Otter wrote:

    Gus, I hate to spam so please be freehanded with the DELETE key, but I needed to edit what I said earlier about posting something completely removed from life… Look at the image in the link below.

    This story went up 4 hours after mine. Sweet zombie Jesus. We are so fucked.

    Tuesday, October 14, 2003 at 9:04 pm | Permalink

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