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Stupid Newswire Articles #2034

Clinton buys a Cuban cigar in a London airport. His other purchase, a tie with frogs on it, warrants Reuters attention. And the continued embargo against Cuba? And Castro’s policies, benevolent and malevolent?! What do you have to do to get attention in this g0dd^mn media sinkhole?! I had a surreal Castro experience today. I […]

And Down The Stretch they Come

Cleaning the house. Cleaning cleaning cleaning. Mixing Pine Sol and Windex and Drano and Kleen-King bleach-laden scouring agent without regard for my safety. There isn’t a drain in this house which isn’t clogged. Nothing like getting down there with a rag to remind me what a wreck this house is. Either the upstairs bathtub or […]

Vote Bush. I mean Gore.

I first heard from Emmanuel Goldstein about this story… as he said, this is too good to be true. The Democrats and Republicans must be using the same ad agency… Update 10/26: It was too good to be true. It was a hoax, as Catherine and Chase pointed out. too bad. At the same time, […]

From The Sick Sad World Department

I thought the headline of this article alone was revolting. In the days of JFK Jr.’s airplane crash I stole all the signs from the LA Times newspaper bins I could around town… they read “KENNEDY CRASH” in big white letters on black. I felt bad for the survivors, so I took as many as […]

It’s SCIENCE!

Selected headlines of articles on intelligence from brain.com Smarter teens delay having sex Mar 03, 2000 (Reuters) Parents influence IQ more than birth weight does Jul 20 (Reuters) Surprisingly Smart: Hollywood’s Educated Icons Childhood intelligence linked to timing of menopause NEW YORK, Jul 21,1999 (Reuters Health) First impression usually right when it comes to IQ […]

Why I Don’t Trust Anything That Comes Over The AP Newswire

Three reasons for starters: Exhibit A: Some guy shot a bunch of people in the halls of Congress a few years ago, around when I was working at Sunset Magazine and started browsing headlines every hour or so. The bulletins from the Associated Press went something like this: first they reported that a small gang […]