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From The Vaults: Essay I wrote for a really awful nonfiction course at Smith

On Grammar, Syntax, Punctuation, Spelling, and Capitalization Punctuation Gandhi once said that a society could be judged by the way it treats its animals; but in truth punctuation is the one true measure d’une societé, the one true measure of a society. Whole city layouts can be read in its skillful use: the courthouses, the […]

Detritus: “um, Whatcha eatin’?” “CHHHALK!”

Things of note: First of all, y’all Cali-haytas can step. If y’all still don’t know why to like California, my sista take yo a$s to schoo. Captures the character of the local biome succinctly and vividly. Nextly, check out Ariel’s art. Nothin else like it nowhere. I hope she keeps arting in some way; it […]

Found Documents: Trivial Pursuit Award

Found in a Trivial Pursuit box at a place where I’m housesitting. Small notepad sheets tied in one corner with dark blue yarn. To whom it may concern: Mazel tov! Congrats on a mind boggling victory. Take pride in your mastery of this insignificantly paltry frivolously frothy inconsequentially immaterial trifling molehill, this flimsy shallow mediocre […]

Lists: Miss Angeles Calls Roll

Lucky me — I got to compare the list of after-school kids with the list of school kids at work today. The woman who handed me this task looked at me apologetically. It’s hard to convince people that I don’t mind brainless routines which involve lists — same reason I’ve enjoyed doing menus for Nat. […]

I Don’t Want To Sleep

so here’s some more classics from the CACFP vaults. scrambles egg cornflakes kellow pulm cold fish home nad soup gronala bars grean salan Feach toast biskets spag spam twigs yely chicken soap carras sticks totot mix green sala orka fruit desert bananana burget bun spaguettis lectuce tomatoe (Dan Quayle’s goin’ DOWN…)

What’s For Lunch

Every once in a while at work I volunteer to help check the menus we get from child care providers in compliance with the federal Child and Adult Care Food Program, or CACFP. The basic idea of the CACFP– at least the part I deal with– is that the government reimburses day care providers in […]

Local schools and the etymology of “mamí”

(adapted from a letter I sent to my former roomie today) I went to a meeting of local parents about the school system today. It was, of course, infuriating. I found out that the school next door to where I’ve been working ranks 656th out of 677 schools in the whole city. And it just […]